For the last few weeks I have been totaling my tips at the end of the day. I would read a psalm to the number I got. Last Friday I got 16 dollars in tips from doing hair. I didn’t read the psalm until today. I forgot about psalm 16:11 was written on a huge piece of rice paper on my wall. That scripture got me through so many hard times in my life. Hours of crying out to God for a broke through of salvation for my family. Also, standing on what I would be doing for the rest of my life. That one thing when I was in His presence, that He would show me more and more what He going to use me for. All the things I walked away from cause I thinking I was not good enough. In the last week, feel like God is saying, “all the things you let go. I didn’t.” -tsuLife Author

Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust. O my soul, you have said to the Lord,“You are my Lord, My goodness is nothing apart from You.”As for the saints who are on the earth,“They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”Their sorrows shall be multiplied who hasten after anothergod; Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer, Nor take up their names on my lips. O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You maintain my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Yes, I have a good inheritance. I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel; My heart also instructs me in the night seasons. I have set the Lord always before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will rest in hope. For You will not leave my soul in Sheol, Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption. You will show me the path of life;In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. PSALM 16

Give ear to my prayer, O God,
And do not hide Yourself from my supplication.
Attend to me, and hear me;
I am restless in my complaint, and moan noisily, 
Because of the voice of the enemy,
Because of the oppression of the wicked;
For they bring down trouble upon me,
And in wrath they hate me.
My heart is severely pained within me,
And the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me,
And horror has overwhelmed me.
So I said, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest.
Indeed, I would wander far off,
And remain in the wilderness. Selah
I would hasten my escape
From the windy storm and tempest.
”Destroy, O Lord, and divide their tongues,
For I have seen violence and strife in the city.
Day and night they go around it on its walls;
Iniquity and trouble are also in the midst of it.
Destruction is in its midst;
Oppression and deceit do not depart from its streets.
For it is not an enemy who reproaches me;
Then I could bear it.
Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me;
Then I could hide from him.
But it was you, a man my equal,
My companion and my acquaintance.
We took sweet counsel together,
And walked to the house of God in the throng.
Let death seize them;
Let them go down alive into hell,
For wickedness is in their dwellings and among them.
As for me, I will call upon God,
And the Lord shall save me.
Evening and morning and at noon
I will pray, and cry aloud,
And He shall hear my voice.
He has redeemed my soul in peace from the battle that was
against me,
For there were many against me.
God will hear, and afflict them,
Even He who abides from of old. Selah
Because they do not change,
Therefore they do not fear God.
He has put forth his hands against those who were at peace with him;
He has broken his covenant.
The words of his mouth were smoother than butter,
But war was in his heart;
His words were softer than oil,
Yet they were drawn swords.
Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He shall sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
But You, O God, shall bring them down to the pit of destruction;
Bloodthirsty and deceitful men shall not live out half their days;
But I will trust in You. PSALM 55

Sometimes, we have to watch out with the ones with smooth words. That are trying to bring division into our lives or the church. Cause if anyone gives you 99% truth and 1% lie, is still a lie. It is so important to know the Word so you don’t get fooled. Even the devil came to Jesus in the wilderness and tempted Him with scripture.  ‘He shall give His angels charge over you.’ and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’ Matthew 4:6 but in the original scripture he took from psalm 91:11-12, “For He shall give His angels charge over you, TO KEEP YOU IN ALL YOUR WAYS, In their hands they shall hear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.” You know why he would keep that sentence out. Cause that would have prove all authority was Jesus’s. The enemy is trying to convince us the authority that was given to us, is lost. The Word is our sword. “Now He who established us with you in Christ and has anointed us is God, who also has sealed us and given us the Spirit in our heats as a guarantee. ” 1Cor 1:21-22 -tsuLife Author

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” John 1:1

I feel the pressure of life are coming to head all at once. Trying not to break but it’s hard not to feel hopeless. This issue of money also makes me feel like I’m drowning. The one thing in life I didn’t want to do is chase money. But for some reason there is another bill or the car breaks. I don’t care if I lived in a studio apartment for the rest of my life. I did not want to think or deal with money. In the last 4 years money has been a big issue in my life. I feel like I can’t get a break. I’ll save a little then bomb, then something happen and it back to zero.

On the flip side, God has came through with money more times I can count.

My trip to California in 2012, I had two friends give me 250 for my plane ticket. School, after losing my job two days after enrolling for being unable to work Saturdays cause I would be in school. I got a check in the mail from the government of 760 and got a new job two weeks later. Free ticket to a sold out conference with hotel stay with friends and a ride all for free to Harrisburg, PA. When my car broke down had a friend use his AAA to tow my car and another friend gave me 80 to fix it. I had someone give me 100 dollars out of blue for my bills when I wasn’t working. Would have people randomly call me for haircuts, color or photography. They would give me the right amount I needed for bills. One of my friends at Starbuck would get me coffee almost everyday when I wasn’t working. I would be there for hours reading or blogging, he would also throw me a 20 for gas. Number of times holding money in my hands crying cause I knew I didn’t desire it but God wanted to use other people to help me.

God always provided for me when I was unemployed for those two years. I still don’t have much but that heart for giving never left. God taught me out of my nothingness to give. I was always the lady with the two coins. To get someone dinner and pay for it, even if it was my last 20. If I couldn’t do anything else, I would listen to them talk about there day. I never wanted to be used to or think I desire handouts. Even tho a few times my heart did go there. I never let it stay there. Cause in all God is the one who proves all my needs.

Well this blog post was more of venting and testimonies. If anyone is out there needing a break through. I pray these testimonies of God’s work gives you hope and break through for yourself. Blessings -tsuLife Author

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Luke 1:18-20
And Zacharias said to the angel. “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is well advanced in years.” And the angel answered and said to him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and was sent to speak to you and bring you these glad tidings. But behold, you will be mute and not able to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words which will be fulfilled in their own time.”

Luke 1:34-38
Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?” And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God. Now indeed, Elizabeth your relative has also conceived a son in her old age; and this is now the sixth month for her who was called barren. For with God nothing will be impossible.” Then Mary said, “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.

Disbelief can bind up our mouth. God doesn’t want our lack of faith get in His way. God doesn’t want our excuses on why it can’t be done. He just wants our yes. Zacharias wife Elizabeth hind herself for months until Mary came over. Then she did, Elizabeth began prophetic over Mary, on what her child was going on this earth. I feel when we get our promises from God. He want use to hind ourselves until it comes to pass. For these promises need preparing so they can be in the perfect will of God. After Jesus was born,  and when Mary heard people praising Jesus. This was her response, “But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.” I think she knew how to keep the secrets of Heaven. I said this once to somebody, “What if Mary wrote a book in the Bible. All the things she would have known about Jesus.” What did God promise you? -tsuLife Author

Here’s a thought… Zacharias was a priest and his wife Elizabeth was of the daughters of Aaron. Joseph was of the house of David. The only thing they said about Mary that she betrothed to Joseph. Where did she come from? Why did God pick this young girl with no written family line to carry Christ?

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Random thoughts… grateful for the amazing people I have in my life. Some that are willing or care enough to get me out of my pit. How much distractions can really throw any person off there track on what God wants for there life. Just because it the easiest doesn’t mean its the right way. Cause most difficult path could be the most rewarding. Even tho I had so many people really destroy my life and wound every part of me. For some reason I bounce back, I know it has to be God cause I would have throw in the towel a long time ago. It’s that hope, that things will get better and it has. With my last heart to heart with a friend, that my lack of trust with people is causing me to fear people. I never realized that what was plague my heart. Any form of confrontation I would just run cause I didn’t want the person to yell at me or make me feel small. I can give you the sob story of why I’m like that. But I really don’t like the pitying. I’m more of, find out what it is and get rid of it… and move on. So that my thought for the day. Trust people and if they hurt you, God will smite them in the face. I’m joking about the last part. -tsuLife Author

“I wouldn’t trade my salvation for anything in the world.”

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I want to be abandoned in His love. I want to see Him face to face. Like friends, for Mose was a murder and saw God face to face, what is the excuse then. Our flaws don’t disqualify us, we disqualify ourselves. Thinking our sin is bigger then God. When we walk closer to God, He works on us. He makes us holy and righteous in His sight. We can’t make ourselves holy but He can. Just to get the revelation that our sin is already paid for. Past, present and future is already paid for. So don’t have to be a victim to it. I live to show God’s grace and love to ones that has no hope. To live above themselves and have a living breathing relationship with God. He is more willing then we think its capable of it happening. How to walk out someones will if you don’t know what they are saying about it. Walk out in faith. -tsuLife Author

I was in intercessor prayer for a conference, over 4 weeks ago. When the pastor asked me if I was going to stay after the prayer. I felt it was important to stay. I had a interview that I cancel, so I could stay. I was talking with the pastor and everyone else in the group. They were talking about Bill Johnson being in Harrisburg. I thought to myself “I would love to go” and just dropped it. At that moment I joined there intercession team. The journey starts in supernatural favor.

On Sept 24th at church during worship, I was in the front. When a guy starts prophesying over me, “women ministry, deeper hunger….” Then a women says to me, “Nik, you are ready.” At the end of the service another women came up to me as I was sitting on the ground. “Are you going to Harrisburg? Cause God wants me to give you my ticket. You just have to find a ride and a hotel.” I just start crying and shaking cause God remembered I wanted to go. I was hanging around at the end while they were cleaning up. I asked the pastor if she was going and how many people were going, too. I told her what happen during worship. Then she turned to her husband and asked him, “Can Nik come with us and stay in our room. We have the couch.” I looked at her with my eyes wide open in shock on what I was hearing. He said, “Yes”, she turns back to me and says “We are leaving at 6:30pm on Thursday. Meet us at our house.” So I took off of work on Friday and I was off to Harrisburg two days later.

God can move in a moment… to be continue –tsuLife Author