I feel the pressure of life are coming to head all at once. Trying not to break but it’s hard not to feel hopeless. This issue of money also makes me feel like I’m drowning. The one thing in life I didn’t want to do is chase money. But for some reason there is another bill or the car breaks. I don’t care if I lived in a studio apartment for the rest of my life. I did not want to think or deal with money. In the last 4 years money has been a big issue in my life. I feel like I can’t get a break. I’ll save a little then bomb, then something happen and it back to zero.
On the flip side, God has came through with money more times I can count.
My trip to California in 2012, I had two friends give me 250 for my plane ticket. School, after losing my job two days after enrolling for being unable to work Saturdays cause I would be in school. I got a check in the mail from the government of 760 and got a new job two weeks later. Free ticket to a sold out conference with hotel stay with friends and a ride all for free to Harrisburg, PA. When my car broke down had a friend use his AAA to tow my car and another friend gave me 80 to fix it. I had someone give me 100 dollars out of blue for my bills when I wasn’t working. Would have people randomly call me for haircuts, color or photography. They would give me the right amount I needed for bills. One of my friends at Starbuck would get me coffee almost everyday when I wasn’t working. I would be there for hours reading or blogging, he would also throw me a 20 for gas. Number of times holding money in my hands crying cause I knew I didn’t desire it but God wanted to use other people to help me.
God always provided for me when I was unemployed for those two years. I still don’t have much but that heart for giving never left. God taught me out of my nothingness to give. I was always the lady with the two coins. To get someone dinner and pay for it, even if it was my last 20. If I couldn’t do anything else, I would listen to them talk about there day. I never wanted to be used to or think I desire handouts. Even tho a few times my heart did go there. I never let it stay there. Cause in all God is the one who proves all my needs.
Well this blog post was more of venting and testimonies. If anyone is out there needing a break through. I pray these testimonies of God’s work gives you hope and break through for yourself. Blessings -tsuLife Author