The other day I went to the beach. As I was sitting in my chair trying to read. I just couldn’t because my mind wouldn’t stop with those “what if” questions. I put down the book and sat there just letting the wind hit my face. I started texting my girlfriends of encouragement and prayers. When all the texted stopped I moved to the beach towel to read my bible. I open to Acts and nothing was coming to me. The wind started to pick up. My mind started to wander again, on what was said to me over the weekend. One of my friends gave me a word, “A sailboat without an archer, I welcome the current hoping for direction, but aloud the wind to blow me to and from.” My first thought was “all boats need an archer”. I was thinking about the church and that I should be tied down. Then I thought of the restriction that happens when you are tied down. So my next thought was about the wind, in the bible “wind” was always referred to as “The Holy Spirit”. The Spirit words to give my hope. As I’m looking down to my bible, while the wind was blowing. I just thought to myself, “Spirit let me read what you want me to read”. So the bible opens to John 13:7 “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.” And then the wind blows again and I saw the word “occasion” So I open back to that page and it was Luke 21:13 “But it will turn not for you as an occasion for testimony.” Then I got the word of Rejection.
This last couple weeks, the one word I didn’t want to hear was rejection. Thinking about the “what if” of life. What about that and what about this. I was comfortable on sitting on the what if cause it was the easy way out. I was to worried about rejection then the answer or the why. Not knowing was safer then knowing. “what if” can easily turn into regret, burdening you’re thoughts that things could have been different. I was doing as much as I felt comfortable with. Aloud myself to do things with my glasses of insecurities and mistrust. That how I viewed the world.
Everything change for me when I find a lump on my breast. And saw my world not through fear anymore but through a small windows of opportunity. If you want to read that story Click Here. When it went away, I saw God in a different way, I feared Him that He can take away and give whenever He wishes. Living life with regret was not chose anymore. I needed to know that yes, no and the not now of life. Holding back cause of fear and insecurities, so my life become a full of regret. One chance and that’s all we have, there may not be “I’ll do it tomorrow”.
So when I got home from the beach I was ready to know the answer to the burning questions that my mind was clouded with. Should I open my own photography place, should I ask this person out, should I go to LA or should I go away for bible school. My mind was filled with questions and now I was ready to hear answer. God prepared me on everything that I was going to encounter on the road ahead. And I just need to trust Him. So I started pulling the trigger on these questions and more.
God has also show me rejection is not the end of the world. One door close and another opens. Everything happens in do season. I’m happy to know my answers, even if it may not what I wanted to hear. I rather live with yes, no or not now, then live with “what if”. Always the unknown can have room for regret and doubt.
What are you wait on in your life, was there question to God and the people around that are burning a whole in your heart but to scared to ask cause of answer? I say to you no matter what happens He has you and He did it this way for a reason. God Bless and Good Luck! -tsuLife Author