The Battle Between Skinny and Fat

I had issues with my weight for years. I have been both side of the coin.

Let me start from the beginning. Growing up I was a skinny kid. By 13 I started noticing my weight changing. I was 115 at 15. I started playing tennis and become a little buff. I still remember being in JCpenny fitting room crying to my mom that nothing would fit cause my legs were getting so big.

By 16, I was seeing someone… my first really boyfriend. I would be in this relationship for 4 years. We would do nothing but sit in his apartment or go out to eat. I gain weight at this time, I was 165 lbs at 19. Locked in a body I didn’t want and locked in bad relationship that I was trying to eat myself out of. After high school I became a hairdresser. I was well paid hairdresser that would blow all her money at the bars. That right, I was 19 going to bars.

Getting drunk almost every night. Now 20, I was in a new relationship with new problems. The relationship was worst then the last one. I was so depress. I hate being left home while he lied to me and go out to party. He never had me around his friends. One morning I came over to surprise him. As I knock on the door to see through the window a girl get up from his bed. At that moment I just stop eating and just started drinking to numb the pain. I would date this guy for two years. I would drink Thursday, Friday and Saturday to the point of blacking out. I would even drive home in these conditions most nights. I would pop one benadryl to past out every night. Until the day I took between 8 to 10 and went out for a drive (after that night I stop taking benadryl to sleep). Now I was 100 lbs and going onto 21.

I find another boyfriend and I thought I was happy. Started to gained a little weight. I was still drinking but not as much as I used to. I was 125 and 22. My relationship was not the best but to me it was better then all the rest. Then out of no where he broke up with me. I lost it, I started drinking heavy again.

I just to jumped into another relationship to numb the pain from the last break up. This relationship was pretty bad on both of our parts. I was jaded from my past and he felt bitter towards me cause the emotional baggage I would dump on him. At the end of that relationship I was tried of running and jumping through all these relationships. We broke cause of the fighting all time. I was 140 and 23.

The first time I meet God I was 23, months before I was turning 24. The ex-boyfriend that I was with when I was 22 “the happy relationship one”  brought me to this church (that I still am a member of til this day) to lift my spirits. I would go to church with him for a couple months. Until he got a girlfriend and told me that he never wanted to see or talk to me again. So I left the church cause I couldn’t bear to see him. Unknown to me that he left the church too at the same time.

For the next three months I drank and partied. Just dating and going out without a care in the world. I started dating my last boyfriend for a couple months. I ended it within 5 months of the on and off relationship. Between this time I would jump from 115 to 135, on how I was felt that week.

Four months after I turned 24, I was burnt out. It was Sunday in late August I told God I was done. I drove back to church and never left. I’m going to be 27 in three months. I can’t be happier. I don’t track my weight anymore cause I just don’t care. God has healed my body and my heart. Thank God!

If you have any stories about weight issues or anything that God has pulled you through.
Just comment below. Also here are two videos, watch and be moved. -tsuLife Author

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4 comments
  1. Wow… great post. God truly is the source of healing. God helped me overcome my anxieties, and makes me feel loved when I feel that no one likes me.

    • tsuLife said:

      Thank you. Amen to God’s love for us. Thank God for God ❤ Thank you for your comment 🙂

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